the snapchat guy came and left

so I recently got a new phone and made a new snapchat.  no it wasn't meant to catfish anyone.  the camera quality is better on my new note 4.  yes I know that there are better note phones but this is the last one where you can take out the battery.  so I added and deleted and added snapchat boy ( see previous story for more details).  he finally responded and even though he yelled at me it felt so good to talk to him again even if he didn't know who I was.  he asked if I was a guy and I told him no but you hate me.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I thought maybe I can talk to him and get him to like me and then tell him who I am but it never got to that because he said deuces so I told him who I was.  we haven't spoken since and I guess it's for the best leave the past in the past.  I just missed him sometimes.  no one ever sticks around in my life longer than 4 months ( my longest relationship was 3 months around around quarter ).  obviously it's me but if they don't even like me than I don't want them to stay around regardless

He's baaaack

So he texted me again.  Our texts went on for a few hours.  I was the last one to text him so now I can't text him until he texts me.  It's not like I can't live without him.  I have gone out with other men it just isn't the same.  It feels different now.  I still love him but I don't need him now I just want him.  I guess that means I've grown in a way.  He was all i thought about.  Comparing him to every new guy.  But it's obvious now he doesn't feel the same and I'm ok with that.  I'm ok with that because recently a few men have told me they love me and i didn't feel the same.  I felt bad for them.  I never told the guy i always assumed he knew.  Of course he knew.  He used to talk about me behind my back to my friends, his friends, and even a woman whose child I watched while she went out with her boyfriend.   I trusted that woman.  I'm too trusting obviously.   She made fun of my clothes , my intelligence and spoke about a crush I had on a boy to the boy himself, how that happened I have no idea,. I have major trust issues these days.  I can't take a compliment from a guy with out thinking he has an alternative motive.  Although that is usually true.  Most men compliment girls to sleep with them eventually.  Some guy told me he never realized how pretty I was.  And then tried something else.  I should have known.  I'm not accepting compliments any more.  I didn't create myself so technically I cant.