So he texted me again. Our texts went on for a few hours. I was the last one to text him so now I can't text him until he texts me. It's not like I can't live without him. I have gone out with other men it just isn't the same. It feels different now. I still love him but I don't need him now I just want him. I guess that means I've grown in a way. He was all i thought about. Comparing him to every new guy. But it's obvious now he doesn't feel the same and I'm ok with that. I'm ok with that because recently a few men have told me they love me and i didn't feel the same. I felt bad for them. I never told the guy i always assumed he knew. Of course he knew. He used to talk about me behind my back to my friends, his friends, and even a woman whose child I watched while she went out with her boyfriend. I trusted that woman. I'm too trusting obviously. She made fun of my clothes , my intelligence and spoke about a crush I had on a boy to the boy himself, how that happened I have no idea,. I have major trust issues these days. I can't take a compliment from a guy with out thinking he has an alternative motive. Although that is usually true. Most men compliment girls to sleep with them eventually. Some guy told me he never realized how pretty I was. And then tried something else. I should have known. I'm not accepting compliments any more. I didn't create myself so technically I cant.
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