it's been awhile since I've posted here. so many guys have come and gone. so many tears have left me. every guy I ever loved has made me feel this way. the way a deer feels as she sees her mother fall to the ground as blood spills out of the hole that was where the bullet hit. the same way a child feels walking alone in a great mall looking for her lost mother. the same way we all felt when bernie lost the election. I thought he liked me at least in the beginning but he never did and never will. he only wanted me for the night. if I knew at that time that it would be the last time he ever looked at me like that I wouldn't have pushed him away. I would have held on to that moment until dawn when I couldn't hold on anymore. when sleep took hold of me and time stood still for in our dreams we can do anything.
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